"The Blackmailer in Your Head"

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What To Do About Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

"I just wanted to thank you for your book, "The Blackmailer in Your Head." I have read many books on ocd and have never finished them. My favourite being "Brain Lock". Your book I read through and read again. I find it most helpful. I am using the methods you explained and I plan to read it again." S, Michigan 5 Aug 2014

"This book really helped me. I've read a lot of OCD & depression books. This one I finished and read three times. Showed it to my therapist too!"  Sandy, UK 23 Aug 2014 on Facebook.

*Sue Breton is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to anxaid.com

So, what makes this book different from all the other books about overcoming OCD?

Is this how it is for you?

  • You wish you could be like everyone else and just leave the house when you want to?
  • Or maybe you'd love to just be able to get on with other things like hobbies when you are at home instead of having to clean things, tidy up, straighten, put in order, wash your hands, etc.?
  • Or perhaps you have a hoarding habit that has got way out of hand but you just don't know what to do about it?
  • Do you feel helpless and that nobody really understands why you can't just change and stop doing those things?

Have you already tried lots of different therapies?

I'll bet you have!

Maybe you had CBT and were asked to challenge your thoughts and keep a record of what you were thinking? But you know very well that your thoughts are irrational but that doesn't take away the awful fear you feel if you don't give in to them!

You may also have tried exposure therapy where you had to just fight the anxious feelings while you confronted whatever it was and didn't give in?

But if you are reading this it is likely that you gave up because the OCD habit, bad as it is, felt more comfortable than the terrible feelings you were getting by not doing it.

  • You are now thinking that you will be like this for ever and that you are a failure because you haven't overcome it yet!
  • You envy people who just do everyday things without giving it a thought.
  • You desperately want to be 'normal' but it seems to be an impossible goal.

The Solution? — Maybe that Goal is the Wrong One!

You and I know that you've worked really hard to overcome your OCD. You've given it your very best shot . . . but it's still there, demanding payment . . . or else . . .

Let's look at it a different way. . .

OCD threatens you just like a blackmailer. It holds you to ransom maybe for years. It makes you do things for fear that something worse will happen if you don't.


This blackmailer is in your own head and is your thoughts. . .

But you already know that!

So think of this . . .

You may have had OCD for a long time but, apart from being very inconvenient and uncomfortable and getting in the way of life, it hasn't actually directly harmed you physically in any way. You won't be shot or die as a direct result of having OCD.

You have probably now built your life around it. It takes up nearly all of your time. In reality you have probably also noticed that the more attention you give it, the more it expects. (Just as a real blackmailer will usually ask for even more money once you start paying.)

  • Maybe all this struggling to get rid of it is actually fuelling it more? The harder you struggle, the more it demands.
  • So, what if you were to stop trying to get rid of it and focus instead on doing more pleasant things little by little?

I know that probably sounds impossible and you are already disagreeing with me and saying that's a stupid idea . . . but is it . . . really . . . ?

If you go on a diet with the intention of losing 30kgs (1 stone) or so you may soon give up because it seems a huge task and progress is very slow. The attraction of being able to eat a chocolate biscuit NOW compared with the thought of sometime being 30kgs thinner very often results in choosing the instant fix rather than the longer term goal. We all do it! You have to be very motivated and be seeing some results before you can reject the tasty chocolate biscuit and stick to the diet.

If, on the other hand, you set out just to lose 1kg (2lbs) it is far less daunting and you are much more likely to succeed. You probably only have to resist the chocolate biscuit for a week or maybe two at the most. Therefore it is easier to stick to the diet. 

The same goes for OCD!

You don't need to stress and struggle to get rid of it! You simple need to gradually reduce the aggro associated with it and learn to focus your life around more positive experiences.

Not only does this feel better than all those challenging therapy approaches, but it will, in time, reduce your OCD bit by bit.

The book describes the reasoning behind this approach so you can understand exactly why and how it works. It does take time and patience — but what have you got to lose?

The book is available from Amazon in either a Kindle or Print version. Please note that the print version only has black and white images inside whereas the Kindle version has them in colour. It is also available from Apple as an iBook if you have an iPad.

The process described in the book does make use of some mindfulness techniques. Although these are described in the book, I have just published a second book ("Can't Meditate, Won't Meditate") which describes the use of mindfulness in greater detail.

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Cover image of

  1. Overcoming Anxiety
  2. Blackmailer Book